OH GOD, FINALLY.

Yes. YES. Hell YES. At last, my own virtual haven to heap all my arabesque-like web of thoughts, bitchy strings of words and hysteric flooding rants! HALLELUJAH, brothers and sisters, for this is the time to curl up in a dark corner and whimper in despair! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!~

...

... *ahem* *polite coughing*

Anyway. I've been wanting to put up the blog for a long time, for reasons that I believe to have been made clear enough for all of you guys. I've picked an username and blog title which stray completely from everything I've used so far (but not entirely dissonant with my current state of mind and much less with my past experiences and sublime little fantasies), hoping honestly that this will give me some protection in this wild, wild world. Can't live in fear now, can we? After all, what I've always really really wanted was to stay true to myself, no matter what -- and I've had it with people breaking (or at least trying to break) my spirit. I have come to terms with the fact that yes, I am annoying, yes, my very presence in this world is heretic and yes, people will never like me for what I am and will always try to force their horrendous mediocrity into my soul, which automatically makes them (them, not me) crazy and hopeless and misguided.

Ironically, once you fully grasp this concept and accept it as real, you can apply it to your reality in order to transmute it into the ultimate disguise, the mask of all masks polished to perfection, the façade of the gods: looking normal and unsuspecting to other people.

It's easier to do once you understand that humans are perverted in nature and the very thought of establishing a few patterns as "normality" (something to venerate, idolize and frenetically aspire to) is bizarre. People who understand where all their craziness comes from and why it manifests in that particular way in the visible world find it easier to pass off as "normal" than the very "normal" people themselves, endlessly struggling with their life essences using ignorance as the one and only means, asphyxiating all love, reason, understanding and wisdom that was given to humanity as a gift from the gods.

...but anyway. This is getting all tangled up. On to the technical details of this pretty little post we're trying to write here.

The orkut profile which has become so familiar to you people will be reset and rebuilt in the course of the following week, so I can keep in touch with colleagues at school and somewhat distant relatives. It's no longer amusing like it used to be, so that'll be pretty much the extent of its functionality.

Al bitching, rants, dissertations, daydreams, hallucinations and verbal regurgitations shall be done here, in this quiet corner of the internet. Quiet because I need to do it with my whole heart, at the top of my lungs, with all the strength coiled up inside my guts... and I don't like other people bothering me (although bothering other people is definitely one of the forces that fuel my life). Y'see, I write in torrents, and if you didn't know that before then you certainly do now. I can't take anything less than a bloody furor in my texts, and I'm sure glad to have discovered that I can somehow manage keep a group of people interested in said furor.

So thus the name of the blog, "Praecordium." All my breath, blood and heartbeats will be gathered here as words and sentences. More than anything else, I find my guts to be the most trustworthy oracle in the universe. This is what feels right to me, this is what sits well in the bottom my stomach, this is what keeps them from churning with heavy, burning guilt. And it's this strange feeling of uneasiness, anxiousness, always free and fearless, boldly plunging itself into the unknown as if it was the only natural thing to do, uncontrollably beastly and orgasmically divine which shall compel me forward from now on.

The road, the trials, the losses and their new skies. Everything is wonder.

PS: the layout will be kept this simple, a blank page with black letters floating on it. I like it, practical and straightforward. I ain't pimping anything, at least for now.